Your story

The Power of Your Voice

Your voice is a precious and powerful treasure, potentially the most powerful one your have. Just think about how, when a baby is born, everyone in the room waits to hear their first cry, the sign that they have arrived. As human beings, we are unique in the animal kingdom in that we experience the world through language – it’s the tool we use both to construct our reality and to express it. But our voices are the alchemical instruments that bring our words to life, that allow them to flow from within us out into the world. Yet, most of us take our voices for granted. I certainly did. That is, until I couldn’t speak for three days.  

Our voices are the alchemical instruments that bring our words to life, that allow them to flow from within us out into the world.

I recently had a complicated but routine wisdom tooth extraction. My body reacted in a way I did not expect. Not only did I develop lockjaw, but for three days I experienced palsy of my tongue, affecting both my ability to swallow and speak. Most noticeably, I had very little ability to form words and the tone of my voice completely changed. Now, three days might not seem long, and, under different circumstances, it wouldn’t have been. However, during this time, I was home alone with my three-year-old son, and the impact of not being able to communicate with him made these three of my toughest days. It also brought home just how remarkable and powerful our voices are. 

During the first day I couldn’t speak, I watched my son’s behaviour get more and more wild, and I could see that it was because, in a very unusual way, his world had collapsed. You see, at three, you get it, but you really don’t. On one level, you understand that Mama has a sore mouth and can’t talk. But at a deeper level you don’t understand why she can’t read to you, or why she’s not verbally acknowledging you when you talk to her, or why she’s suddenly not setting the limits you are so used to. At three, these things can make you feel like you’re not being connected to, not being seen and, without those familiar boundaries, not safe.

The second day was the worst, so I turned to technology and gave a ‘voice-to-text’ app a go. For me, this was such a helpful tool, becuase I had a bit more agency. For my child, it helped in that he got answers and responses, and I could ask him questions and even set some boundaries. I thought we’d found a solution, until he responded to a warning I’d given (via the app) with “I should’ve listened to the lady.” This was both funny and incredibly interesting. To him, the voice was still not me. And it wasn’t, for our voices don’t merely express words, but, through tone, inflection, volume, and other subtle shifts, they convey the feeling, meaning, and intention underlying those words. Even though my sweet boy felt happier because there was some kind of communication, the disconnect hadn’t been repaired. This was made glaringly clear when, later that day, he desperately cried, “Mama, just talk to me.”

My voice is my primary parenting tool. I use it to set limits and boundaries firmly but compassionately. I use it to keep my child safe as he explores his world. I use it to play with my son, to share books with him, to sing to him, and to laugh with him. I use it to talk about the world around us, to answer his questions, to respond to his thoughts and ideas. I use it to soothe and comfort him. I use it to empower, encourage, and validate him. Since before he was born, my son has heard the sound of my voice, and ever since has felt connected to me through it. How scary for him to lose that without the maturity to understand why.

Maggie Kuhn said, “speak your mind, even if  your voice shakes.”

Most people use their voices everyday. We use our voices to communicate with the world: to convey our needs and wants, to express our beliefs, to share our struggles and successes, and to tell stories.  Through our voices, we convey meaning, feeling, presence, and culture. Our voices have the power to create change, inspire joy, cause loss, soothe or seduce, stimulate thought, awaken the senses, and make music. Just like your fingerprints, your voice print is completely unique to you. It is a reflection of your personality and an embodiment of your identity. Even as you think or read, if you pay attention, I guarantee you’ll discover there’s a voice in your head constructing those thoughts and words.

Maggie Kuhn said, “speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.” She was a social activist, but I want to encourage you to consider her words in the light of your everyday life. Your voice expresses so much of who you are. It is instrumental in connecting your inner world to the world around you. Some even say it is the muscle of the soul. Your voice is incredible! Embrace it, connect with it, and don’t take it for granted, for what a precious gift it is!